Change

This morning, I am sitting out my patio enjoying the cooler weather.  It's cloudy
and making me sleepy but I'm loving the early feel of autumn.  DD and I ate breakfast out here and I think it just made it taste better!

Today, I'm thinking of change.  A change in routine, a change in scenery, a change in attitude, a change in diet, a change.  DD talked of it needing a change on our long drive over the weekend and DH talks of it often too so, I'm going to work on giving it to them.  We're going to cook more at home.  Work on cleaning up the house and beautifying it some more.  Prepare for fall.

School will be starting next week for us and it will be nice to start afresh with a tidy home and yummy home cooked meals planned.  DS will be heading back to college soon and DH's travels are beginning as well. I'm thinking this be a great time for home economics for DD and for me too.

It's time to reassess my life and prioritize.  Make schedules and get organized.  I've got this. 

Dear Friends,

I have to make a confession of sorts.

I used  to cook, to bake, to sew, to crochet, to make things.  I read,  a lot, for me and for/with my kids.  I wrote both in a journal and on this blog.  I spent time working in my garden, canning and freezing.  I spent time with my family, playing games, reading, watching movies we love, listening to old time radio shows...

and then this thing called Facebook came into my life.  I originally joined to see photos of my niece.  It was the only way I could see them.   Before long, I had a few friends "friending" me.  Then I begged DH to join while he was in Afghanistan so that I could share photos a little easier.  Now, 3 years or so later... I am a facebookaholic.

All those things listed above that I used to do... I did them because I LOVED doing them!  And yet, somehow this thing called Facebook, took over my life and I stopped doing so many of the things I loved.  It's really very sad.

This past week my family went camping in Branson, MO and we had a wonderful time!  We limited the use of our phones and computers.  We watched 2 movies in 7 days!  That's it!  NO TV other than that!  For a whole week!  We spent time together.  We went for walks, we played games, we just sat and visited, we napped, we played in the pool.  It was a WONDERFUL week!  DD and I didn't want to leave!

So, here I am.  I've realized that I don't need facebook, at least not all the time.  I need to spend time doing things I love!  So that's what I'm going to do.  If you smell that heavenly scent of homemade bread, THAT'S ME!  If you receive a homemade Christmas gift... I succeeded in taking my life back.

Oh, I'm sure I'll still be on facebook some but I'm not letting it control my life anymore.  If you want to reach me, it might be best to email or and I know this is a hard one for some of you, but you could pick up the phone and call me!  If you need my phone numbers email and I'll send them to you.  You can even comment right here on this blog!  You don't have to have an account, post anonymously or just type in your name or whatever.  I still want to have contact with all of you but please know that I just can't do the Facebook thing full time anymore.

Well, I'm off to go fix a wonderful lunch for my sweet, sweet family!  I hope you have a wonderful day and I can't wait to hear from you all.

Much love,
Mommy22Ss

A story, my story

Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn't become their future. - Jon Acuff

I read this quote today on Facebook and it really made me think.  I have a story that I've been trying to share a particular friend... well, actually kind of with several in different ways... but I'm finding that all I can do is share my story and then it ends.  Those around me have to be willing to listen and learn from it.

  

Part of my story is about deployments, (surprise, surprise!)  and how they effect so much of, well, EVERYTHING.  Everything about us.  How we feel, how we think, what we see or what we think we see, how we interact with others, oh, just everything!  And then also how it can take a very long time to get over it, to get past it.  I don't know if you ever really get over it...  

My DH has been home just over 2 years now and I'm just now getting to where I can look back and see things... see things with different eyes, with a different heart.  As healing is slowly occurring,   I am able to look back and think, "Wow, I was hurting more than I ever knew or recognized."

I want to share my story with others. I have shared my story with others.  Sometimes with others in the same situation just a different time.  And sometimes with others who are close or even just know someone in this situation so that they can see and perhaps have a small understanding of how "we" feel, of how "we" look at or see things, of what is going on inside "our" brains.  

I try to share to my story with those in this situation, just a different time than me, so that maybe they can see how perhaps the deployment has changed their view.  How it can cloud our vision.  Even after it is over!  Sometimes, I think that is even when it is the worst!  But again, all I can do is share it.  I can't make them listen or take anything away from it.  That's the REALLY hard part!

Busy as usual here at my house

Good Wednesday afternoon, dear friends! I have been very busy the last few days. I've been trying to write a lot, while trying to homeschool the kids. I've also been trying to be there for family that needs me and get my house clean too. Honestly, I think perhaps I've over done it a little... my head is killing me.

It won't end anytime soon either. Today is a very busy day for us. DD has to be at church 3:45 for chimes and choir and then be at ballet at 5:30. DS has rehearsals for "Footloose" tonight at 7:00. Whew! Somewhere in there we have to try to fit in dinner for everyone. I don't really think we will be eating all at the same time. Oh, at least my kids are finally getting involved here and starting to make friends. It's been a hard row but I think we are finally making some progress.

Well, I just wanted to post right quick. I promise to be back soon with something with a little substance. Till then my friends, enjoy your life, it's the only one you have!

Tuesday Morning...

Good Morning Friends!

Oh, I didn't want to get up this morning. I had a hard time sleeping last night, but morning still came and so it was time. Now I have to figure out what is for breakfast. I have no idea. Maybe pancakes. We'll see.

Ok, well, I got sidetracked. DD and I had cream of wheat (YUMMY) and DH and DS had cold cereal. Now DD and I are working on some homemade bread. It's a new bread recipe for us. I hope it is good!

Are you having issues with dry skin this winter? Our new house does not have a thermostat. It just has hotel like heaters in each room that have 3 settings high, medium, and low. You can not adjust the temperature at all and it is just really drying to my skin. It is so itchy sometimes! I've been taking baths with "Mommy's Magic" in it and it is so wonderfully soothing. You should really give it a try. You can read more about it here.

Well, I have got to get busy with that bread. I can't wait to eat it. I love homemade bread!

Family time...

We had another good day. The kids couldn't wait to play "Clue" today. DD especially. We played 3 rounds and each one of us won one. They had so much fun! They loved it. We also did some reading of "Inkheart" and it is really getting good!

I have to tell you that DD didn't even watch a minute of TV today! How awesome is that. She is usually the worst about how much TV she watches but she didn't even ask. DS loves NCIS and The Mentalist so he did watch those but she was in the tub and then reading and then bed. I'm really proud of her. I need to be sure that I comment on this to her and tell her how proud I am of her.

Tomorrow we will be trying to fit in schoolwork, the dentist, a haircut and then church. I'm not sure that we will all the schoolwork in but we're going to try. They've been working hard so if we don't get ALL done as long as we get some done it's okay.

Well, I need to get off this computer and go see what else I can actually DO till bed. Have a wonderful night!

blogging

Today for some reason, I went back in time... well back in time reading some old posts from several years ago. It was fun and made me realize how much I miss really blogging and how VERY therapeutic it really is for me.

I was reading from Christmases past... from the last deployment. Wow! How much stronger I was then. Really! This Christmas was so much easier as DH was home on leave and we had such a wonderful time.

We did all the things that the army tells you NOT to do while on leave. We spent money and spoiled the kids and probably if truth be told, each other. We just hung out and we ate out (pigged out!) and had fun. Now we didn't go into debt or anything. We only spent money we had but we probably shouldn't have spent as much as we did but you only live once, right! It was great.

It was spoiled a little (understatement) when my DF was diagnosed with prostate cancer on Christmas Eve but because of all the above I was able to push it to the back of my mind...sometimes. Now, with DH is gone it's harder to do. I worry, a lot, but I know he will be fine and all will be okay. The kids and I are going to go spend a couple of days with him before his surgery and have some quality family time with him. If you know me, you know that I don't travel when DH is gone so this is a big deal but it's right for me this time. I'm hoping it will reassure me that he's okay. As DM says, "We'll get through this." I know we will.

So, blogging... therapy... it's probably what I need so maybe... I'll be blogging more... not anyone reads here much anymore but it's more for me right? So for now, I'm off to find the storage thingy that I need to finish putting away my Christmas decorations. I know, I'm behind! Have a wonderful evening!

Tonight we are watching Hallmark. I love Hallmark movies. The movie we are watching right now is "The Christmas Card". It is one of my favorites. Probably because it's about a soldier but there is just something about it that I love.

Next up is "An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving". It's new this year and I can't wait to see it. Hallmark movies are my favorite. Most holiday movies are for sure. We are all cuddled up in our chairs wrapped in quilts. If only we had a fireplace and my dear darling husband things would be perfect.... Someday....

BLAH... deployments are the pits.....

Well, I'm starting to set into my old ways from past deployments. I've picked up a smutty book (which I haven't done in over a year), I'm blogging again and becoming obsessed with it, I'm wanting to stay in bed later and later, taking longer showers and lots more baths, I find myself in my own little day dream world more and more often too.

I think as it gets cooler and the holidays near, I grow nostalgic which tends to make me a little sad... not sure sad is the right word but ...

This morning when my alarm went off, they were talking about Gen. Petraeus and what he said yesterday and I listened for a minute and then hit snooze and burst into tears with missing my DH. It only lasted a second but it's kind of left me with a depressed feeling. Oh, he'll call later and will most likely make me feel better but till then...

This is our 3rd deployment and is the longest, 15 months. I'm ready for him to come home to stay. Most of the time I'm doing okay, because it is the 3rd, we're kind of used to it but then other times because it is the 3rd, I'm more tired and more sad. I know that there are lots out there who have done more deployments and I feel for you. Our deployments have been 10 months, 12 months, and now this one... It's just too much.

Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to get so down on here. What do you think of my picture? Isn't is pretty? It was taken at local state park. I love the sun shinning through the branches. You should see it now, with the leaves beautiful reds, oranges, purples and yellows. BEAUTIFUL!!

Well, I'm off to get myself out of this funk! Have a glorious day!

Life for us today...

Well, I'll give a quick update. We have started school and so far so good. I think I'm going to have to supplement DD's curriculum because I think it might be too easy for her in some areas. I love how it works though, but I might should have bought the 5th grade instead of 4th. We'll see how it goes.

DS is doing well and seems to be trying so far, of course that could change any moment. We are starting slowly with him. Just doing his main curriculum and getting used to it before we add all the others too.

DH is doing okay too. He's frustrated as they all are at different things but he is fine, just tired.

ME? Well, I'm tired too. This week I seem extra tired and in need of a lot more sleep. I don't really know what's going on but hopefully it will get better soon.

That's a quick update on us. I hope all my dear cyber friends are doing well. Take care!

Checking in...

It's been a while. Sorry. It's summer and we've just been veggin. It's a terrible thing I know but it is the truth. We all became vegetables but are working on that.

We are weaning ourselves from the TV again. I'm so sick of Hannah Montana and Suite Life and so on. They just show the same ones over and over and over and over.... and DD just watches them over and over and over and... DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I know I should have turned it off sooner but...

Anyway, we are starting up our schooling again on Monday. I'm excited and DD is a little bit but DS is NOT at all. I think he will enjoy it if he gives it a real chance.

DH is doing fine, well, as fine as you can be in Afghanistan. We miss him. He's been gone 5 months now, so we only have 10 more to go! I'm ready. We already have orders for when he get back. We will be moving to a new duty station in the Midwest. We will definitely miss it here but the army still gets to make these decisions for us. I'm sure that we will be happy there.

Well, I guess that we are all caught up for now. I'm going to try and do better at keeping this blog up to date but I make no promises!

Have a good night, dear friends!

Another day...

It's seemed like such a lazy day today. I just wanted to sit and do nothing. I was even in my PJs by 4pm!! I'm very tired. I've not slept much the last few days. I know that I will sleep well tonight!

We are watching Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. I love the Harry Potter movies and books. When I finished the books I felt like I had lost a very dear friend. I missed him and all the characters so very much. I still find my self thinking of them often.

The kids and I cleaned house a bit today. It needed it!! I love a clean house and yet I have such a hard time keeping it that way. I need to make the kids help more on a daily basis but I'm not very good at that either.

Well, I'm about ready for bed so I'll close for now. Good night dear friends.

Better today

Yes, today was better. I don't know why yesterday was hard but I felt a lot better today. The kids and I had a good homeschool day and we stayed busy. Hearing from DH last night probably helped a lot.

I posted more today over at my homeschool blog so you can read there if you are interested.

Beautiful

It was such a lovely day today. Nice and warm and just lovely. DS had archery lessons today and he did well and the weather was perfect for it.



The kids had such a good time playing outside this afternoon. I love watching them play together happily. They are 5 years a part in age and so sometimes it's very hard for them but lately they have been getting a long so well and it just makes me feel so good to see it.

I'm hoping for more beautiful weather so that maybe I can get out in the garden and do a little work. I also need to work in the kitchen. We let it go before DH left and now I've just been getting by in there and now I need to get busy again and get it back under control again.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I hope your day has been lovely too.

Doing okay...

Good Morning dear cyber friends. We had a nice Easter yesterday. It was kind of slow but it was just what we needed. We were able to talk with DH too and that made it wonderful. We are missing him terribly but are slowly getting back to our old routines which is good.

It's actually amazing to me how "easy" it is to just slip right back into our old ways of just about 18 months ago. It is also a little frightening to me. I don't really like being used to it or it feeling normal to us. But I guess for now that just might be best. I don't know.

Anyway, I have lots to keep me busy, at least for a while.

Such a hard week...

Well, DH left last night for a 15 month deployment to Afghanistan. This is his third deployment in about 5 years.

I have to say that whoever came up with the 15 month deployment has never had to tell their spouse, daddy or children goodbye for that long. 15 months just seems like a lifetime to me. Knowing it is for so long just made it that much harder. DH will miss 2 of DD's birthdays, 2 of her dance recitals, one and half school years, DS's first archery tournament, and probably his first shave. I'm sure there will be lots more firsts as well.

It was so very hard to tell him goodbye again. We were lucky enough though to have him with us for 18 months between deployments and we had a wonderful time together. He of course wasn't home all of that. He made a trip to Afghanistan, and several to Virginia and Florida but he was safe.

We had lots of great family time during those months filled with camping, games, playing and lots of loving. The last few weeks were really hard but we tried to squeeze as much into them as we could.

So, we will continue on and try to get back into our deployment routine and get through this as best we can.

Prayers are always welcome.

Well, we have been busy lately. Last was Vacation Bible School and everyone helped with it. That was fun. I love that DH helped this year. It was wonderful to see him setting an example for not just our kids but also for the others too. We all had a good time but it took up our family time which was hard on us.

This week DS has been on a Mission Trip. This evening we are going to their closing worship and then he'll be back home late tonight. I've not heard from him so I guess it is going well. I'm sure he is having a good time helping others and fellowshipping with others at the same time.

DD has been relishing in being an only child for the week. She has been missing her big brother of course but she likes having me and her dad to herself.

Our garden is coming right along. We have some beautiful plants! I love it.

Well, I guess you are now updated. I hope is well with all of you out there dear cyber friends.

Getting in the way...

Well, I've been noticing that there are a few things in my life that keep getting in the way of Life.

1. the computer!
2. the tv!

These are the BIG two! I'm not kidding. I get on the computer to look at homeschool curriculum and before I know it I've been on for over an hour and the kids have been needing me. Or I get on looking for a recipe and end up spending so much time reading them that I never get around to cooking! I get on to get house keeping tips and never get around to keeping house! and so on and so on! It's really terrible so I'm going to be spending less time on here. I'll check my email and so forth but I'm not going to waste so much time on here. It's really ridiculous.

The TV?? well, that's easy, no I can't do that right now, wait till a commercial or when this show is over, or no we can't do that tonight because "Show" is on. It's sill really.

There are lots of other things that get in the way of living life and I'm going to start trying to let go of as many of them as I can. Well, not totally let go of course but make them less a part of my day. So that being said, I'll not be here as much. I know I haven't been here much any way but... You can always email me or just stop by every now and again. I'll still blog but probably only once a week or so.

I plan on spending a lot more time on REAL porch enjoying the day, my kids, my husband, my neighbors and so on. Have a wonderful day full of living dear cyber friends.

Back Home again!

Yea!!! DH is back home, safe and sound. I'm so very glad. Just thought I'd let you know.


Oh, yea, and the finger is healing nicely but it is still very hard to type.

Accident...

Well, leave it to me! Something bad always happens when DH is gone and well, this time it was me. I cut myself on Thursday afternoon. It's a pretty laceration but I'll live. The kids were pretty brave and have been a great help. My neighbor took me to the hospital and I have 4 stitches. It's my right hand which makes things very hard but we are getting by. DS is doing most of the work around the house and DD is helping too. Poor DH. He'll be coming home to a bit of a mess. He called while I was at the hospital so the kids told him about it and then he couldn't get a hold me of until much later but I convinced him I'm fine. I get my stitches out in 8 or 9 days now. I may have some permanent numbness in my finger but I still a have a finger!

So, it's hard to type so I'm probably not going to be round much until I get my stitches out. So now you know where I am. Have a great weekend!