Saturday, December 10, 2005

A hard question for me...

I've just been thinking about a question I hear a lot of. "How are you, really?" There's nothing wrong with the question and actually it shows that people care about me and I like it. But it is a hard question for me. My answer is usually the same. "I'm fine, really." But you know, it's really a deep question and I never have the words to answer it.

My usual answer is an honest one. But there is more to it. I am fine. Really, I am. But it's because I really have no other choice but to be fine. You know what I mean? But when I really think about it there's more.

Even now, it's hard to say. I'm sad but I'm not sad. I'm sometimes angry but not angry. It's so hard to describe. I miss my husband terribly. Sometimes I just feel like my heart is breaking. But to be honest... because of the kids, I really don't have time to think about it and I try not to think about it.

I ask my DH this question at least once a week and he never really answers it either. We both have our standard answers. His, "I'm fine, just tired." I know there's more to it but it's really a hard question.

Anyway, I've been asked this twice now in the last 24 hours and so my answer is this...

Thank you so much for asking. I'm fine, really. We are managing. I miss DH terribly but I hear from regularly and that helps. We'll get by, we are 3 months down now. Only 9 more to go. Thanks again for asking....


  1. Okay I say 'really' to differentiate from those who ask "How are you?" and don't want to know. For me, I was never sad so much as I was missing a huge part of my life and angry. Yeah I was angry and I think it could be said I'm still angry. Not because he went to war, that was his job; but because've seen my blog. ;-) But as you say you get by because you have no choice.

  2. Kate - I know why you say it. I don't mind. Like I said it lets me know you care. I was just pondering my answer to you this morning and thought, you know what, no, I'm not fine. But I am fine and then all this just came to mind so I put it. Don't stop asking the question!! I'd be sad if you did.

    CS - I know you do and it's probably worse on your end.