Good Morning!

This morning as I was reading while walking on the treadmill, it hit me.  I know what I'm needing to do.  It's something for my kids.  Why I couldn't see it before, I have no idea but it was right there in my face plan as day.  Yep, I feel like it was almost that billboard that I'm always looking to see.

I won't be easy.  It's not something that I can force.  It has to be a gentle nudge, a quiet push.  Maybe even more of leading by example.  No, it won't be easy, but it is my task for now and I can do it.

Catch up...

I know... I've been terrible about blogging for ... let's face it... several years now...  I don't really know why other than, often I just don't have much to say.  Well, at least not much that matters so... I've just been quiet.

Let's play catch up.  We'll just start with the new year so that I don't bore you too much.  The biggest thing is that I've given up sugar.  Yep, it's a thing of the past for me.  Well, let me rephrase that, I've given up fructose.  Well, that's not quite right either because I still eat fruit some.  So I've given up added fructose or fructose without the fiber.  I try to eat it in it's whole form, an apple but not apple juice, an orange but not orange juice.  You get the picture.  I'm still probably eating too many carbs but I'm working on that too, though much slower.  :o)  I love my bread and pasta.

I'm working on getting back to my walking.  I'm enjoying it and can't wait to move it outside and bring my DH along with me.  :o)  I'm making the treadmill work by reading while walking sometimes and that's nice.  Or I try spending my walk time in prayer.  This morning I read.  I've started a new book called  Confessions of a Prayer Slacker by Diane Moody.  I got it for the Kindle one day when it was free.  Here's a trailer for it.


So far it's pretty good and I'm enjoying it.  I'm thinking she might just be writing my life!  I pray.  I'm a great prayer when times are tough.  When I know someone needs prayer I will pray immediately for them.  I don't know that I'm a "Prayer Slacker" so to speak but I think that my prayer life could use some work.  It could be more ... consistent... more meaningful.  You get the picture.  :o)  So this book just may be what I need to get me headed to a more meaningful prayer life.

DH and I recently started a new Sunday School class at church.  That's means he supports me while I lead.  lol  It's been lots of fun!  We have wonderful people who have joined us and I really look forward to our time with them each week.  The ... curriculum (for lack of a better word) we chose is a read the Bible in a year type.  We chose it because it was guilt free.  If you don't read the daily scripture readings know one will ever know.  The lessons can done even if you haven't and you won't feel lost.  It's been great but I've discovered something for myself.  Reading the Bible is ... good for me.  I can always tell when I miss a day or... a few days...  I seem crankier, moodier, less happy and less settled.  I could actually go on and on but I think get you get the drift.

I've always been an on again off again Bible reader.  I would do devotionals, or a Bible study here and there.  If I needed something I'd look something up in the Bible but I never just sat down and read the Bible.  Well, that's not quite true.  I've tried to just sit and read it before but it never lasted for more than a sitting or two.  So, I've been enjoying for the most part reading my Bible.  Don't get me wrong, I have missed a day here or there or a week... (Shhhh) but I just pick it back up and get reading again.  It really does help make my day go better.  I'm learning so much and refining things I already knew but in a childlike way.  

I find myself wanting more.  I've even looked at maybe going back to school for some theology/Bible type classes.  I just can't seem to get enough!

Anyway, that's about my life right now.  Staying busy but still looking for ... that something... that meaning for my life... my purpose.  Somethings never change I guess.  I'm really going to try to do better about blogging again but I don't want to live on the computer so... we'll see how it goes.  I hope all is well with you and yours dear friends!  Have a beautiful week!

Takeoff!

For some reason, I have started receiving FlyLady emails again.  I haven't subscribed to her in years but last night I got a email about today.  So... maybe someone somewhere is trying to tell me something. lol

It was so helpful for quite a while but 3 moves later, it was getting pretty overwhelming so I stopped but... life is different now and I think I'm ready to get back at it.

She is quite encouraging and it's not just in cleaning.  She encourages, exercise or at least movement, fixing ourselves up for the day and then of course cleaning too.  I need all that so here I go!  Babysteps but steps in the right direction.  Here I go ready for take off!

One reason I love homeschooling...

One of the great things about homeschooling, in my mind, is that when the kids are dragging and there's yucky stuff going around, we can opt to sleep in and let their bodies work their healing miracle.  They wake up refreshed and ready to go.  We don't have to worry about missing school or tests or make up work, or whatever. We can just rearrange the schedule to make it work for us.   Yep, I love it!

Free

I've been reading a lot of Facebook posts lately that talk about feeling left out, confused, angry, rumors, remembering to leave/give it to God, and so on and so forth.  A few months ago, when I read these I often thought, I know what you mean, I feel the same way, YES, and so on.  But this morning as I read some of these posts I was surprised to realize that I don't feel like they are talking about me too!

I'm feeling great!  I'm feeling loved and happy.  I know God is on my side without these little reminders.  I'm not over concerned any more with what other people say about me and I'm not too worried about what others think of me any more.  I am who I am and I am loved by many (my family is HUGE :o) and I'm good with this.  God knows me and my heart and really, that's all that matters.

It was such a empowering, uplifting, FREEING feeling.  I. Am. Happy.  I. Am. Loved.

Living

So far this new year I've been busy living.  I've taken DD and one of her best friends out for a girls shopping day, hung out in front of the fire with the fam, gone shopping with DS and helped him cook his 'caveman' food, read a book, and am just enjoying life.  So far it is has been a great start to the new year!

Chapter One

Chapter One

A new day, a new year, a new beginning....  Stay tuned.

"The Unfinished Gift"

I've been reading, reading, reading lately.  I'm so enjoying it.  Right now I'm reading several books but the one I'm reading this morning is called "The Unfinished Gift."  It is wonderful.  It is set during WWII.  It's been so interesting being in that time period.  To see how our country handled being at war at that time and to compare it to present day.  This morning as I was reading I came to a part that just really struck me.  Here it is.

"The crowd in Times Square is growing by the minute, already numbering in the tens of thousands.  The multitude is happy and peaceful, yet somewhat subdued from years past, considering we are a nation at war. And because we are, it's been decided- now for the second year in a  row- that the Big Ball will not descend from its post high atop the Times Tower to ring in the New Year.  Still, come midnight, we do expect the cheering throngs to scream, the chimes to sound, and the church bells to ring throughout the land.  But all the while, not far from anyone's mind, will be thoughts of a husband, a son, an uncle, a brother.  And for every cheer, two prayers will likely be said.  God, keep him safe.  God, bring him home."

This was what was playing on the radio in the story on New Year's Eve 1943.  Interesting isn't it.  DH and I have often talked about how different it has been during these wars from WWII.  How the country isn't as affected as a whole like it was back then.  No rations, no drills and so on.  Eventually, everything just continued as if nothing had changed.

I remember going through the museum at Ft. Campbell and looking at the all the items from WWII and thinking then how different it was.  In some ways I think it was better because it was more there every day for every one to see.  Now, it's easy to forget that it's even still going on!  I've actually had people to say to me, "You mean we still have people over there?  I thought that was over."  UNBELIEVABLE!!

Anyway, I got off on a tangent, sorry...  I was struck that the Ball didn't drop on New Year's.  That it was like in a way we were waiting.  It was a symbol that the country was waiting.  Yes, the New Year still came and celebrations still occurred but there was a symbol that the country was waiting, that the country still remembered.  We were at war.

We are at war.  Families are still separated.  They are still worried every day that their husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, uncle or aunt might not come home.  It's very real that many don't come home or that many don't come home the same.

Don't forget.  Pray for them.  Help them.  Reach out these families.  They need to know that they are not forgotten.  That we do still care for them.  That we want to help them and be here for them.  Pray for them.

Remember.

Friday Musings

I've still been busy living my life lately.  You know what?  It's fun!  I'm still on the computer too much but most of the time it's doing some studying or an accountability group or something.  I still probably watch too much tv but DD and I are loving watching Hallmark movies together.  :o)

Mostly she and I hang out together.  We shop, we cook, we sing, we drive around, we talk and we talk some more.  When DH is off he joins us and sometimes we make a trip out to take DS to lunch or something.

We have just really been enjoying being a family.  We all seem to be reaching out a bit more to new ... experiences and people.  We are spreading our wings a bit. I'll let you know how it goes in  a few weeks.  lol

I was just asking DH about some wording and he was brainstorming and used the phrase, "expanding our area of influence."  I didn't like it.  It sounds kind of self centered.  Well, it did at first but as it has rolled around in my mind...  maybe it's so bad... we do all have an influence on those around us whether we want to or not and well, it's only self centered if we make it so.  We choose the kind of influence we make by how we act and more importantly, how we love.

Isn't that just a beautiful word?  LOVE.  It just doesn't get much better than that does it.  Oh how the world could be changed if we showed more love.  Not romantic love, although DH wouldn't mind that a bit, but love, Christlike love.  Love for our neighbors near and far.  Love for our enemies, for those who hurt us, those who don't always seem 'deserving'.  I mean, really are any of us ALWAYS deserving?  I mean sometimes we just have a bad day... or week...  Sometimes, maybe that person who seems so underserving hasn't been shown enough love in their life and so they are kind of cranky or just don't know how to love.  I'm thinking that it's our job.  To show love, to teach love.

Galatians 5:13

Common English Bible (CEB)

¹³ You were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only don’t let this freedom be an opportunity to indulge your selfish impulses, but serve each other through love.  (My emphasis added)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails...

I don't know.  What do you think?  If we all showed this kind of love... would the world be a better place?  I think so.  But that's just my opinion.

Friends

So this morning I was thinking... How do you discern who your friends are?  Then it came to me that the more important question is Am I a friend? Am I being a good friend? I hope so.

Just some ponderings for the day...

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. 
Albert Camus 
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#EjA7VDgyhIkmsW8o.99 

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
Pam Brown 
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#EjA7VDgyhIkmsW8o.99 

A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity.
Robert Hall 
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#EjA7VDgyhIkmsW8o.99 

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.
Henri Nouwen 
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html#EjA7VDgyhIkmsW8o.99 

What I've been doing...

Yes, it's been awhile again.  I've been busy I guess.  Living life.  Spending time with family... good time.  I've been living my life and loving it.  So... here is some good advice...  Turn up the Music!  It's how you live...

Celebrating Womanhood

So, I am a day late... Yesterday was supposed to be a day of Celebrating Womanhood in the blogosphere.  We are supposed to me celebrating with positives about being a woman, trying to negate all the negatives out there lately.

So.

I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, and a friend.

I was a military wife for 20 years. My husband just recently retired.  Let me tell you... that's a hard one!  The challenges a military wife faces are extraordinary!  Leaving family and friends over and over.  Being a single parent more than not even though you are married. Moves, FRGs, Deployments, TDYs... and on and on.  It's a challenge and takes courage and lots of love and dedication.

I am a mom.  I love my kids.  Too much sometimes.  They are my world.  This fall it was time to let one head off to college.  Boy, do I miss that kid!  I am so proud of the man he is becoming and the great things he has in store for him.  It's not always been easy but I wouldn't trade it for the world!  I still have my sweet DD home with me and we are having a fun getting to be just the two of us during the day.  She is becoming such a beautiful woman both inside and out.

I love my family.  All them, far and near.  It's been hard being so far away as we've moved here and there in the military.  I'm the closest to home I've ever been since getting married and I'm still about 8 hours away.  I miss my parents and siblings and every day.  I call my parents every day and talk for "hours" according to my Daddy.  :o)  I try to keep in touch with my siblings as well.  I miss them terribly.  I love my nieces and nephews beyond words and don't get to see them enough.  I hope they know how very much they are loved and missed.  The are all wonderful.

I have not kept in touch with my aunts and uncles like should have.  I do miss them and share stories about them with my kids all the time.  They are not forgotten.  They are very loved and very missed.

Friends... so many over the years... so many haven't seen in FOREVER!  You are always in my thoughts!  I share stories of you all as well.  So many from all over the world.  I miss you!  I love that I have found so many of you on Facebook and get see how you are and what your family is up to.  Let's keep in touch better!

Well, I'm not sure if this is exactly what was wanted in this post of Celebrating Womanhood but to me... this IS Womanhood!  Being a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece and definitely a friend.

And life goes on...

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness... A long lost cyber friend has suddenly reappeared!  I'm so glad. :o)



Anyway...  I have so very much to say... So much has happened...

First, DS is now away at college.  I am so proud of him.  He's doing really well. 

Drop off day was a great day.  Bittersweet but great.  He is going to a wonderful college and we couldn't be happier that he is there. It was a hard day too though.  That letting go thing... yeah, I don't like it much and well, I'm not too good at it either!

Man, I love that kid. Where has the time gone... When I started this Blog, he was only 11 years old getting ready to start 6th grade.  Now, he is almost 18 and a freshman in college!  I can't wait to see all the great things he is going to do in his life.  

Next...

DH is retiring... today.  Boy, am I proud of him and all the great things he has done and will do in our future.  His retirement ceremony was a month ago.  Had to do it early for several reasons I won't bore you with, but it was wonderful.

  Isn't he just super handsome?  Anyway, we had a very nice ceremony with lots of his co-workers, and lots of our family and friends.  We were all recognized for our service.

The kids received "Army Brat" certificates and I got my Certificate of Appreciation and such.  It was really nice and I was amazed at what the gentleman, who did most of the ceremony, knew about us.  He did a wonderful job.

Then DH gave his speech and it was fantastic.  He said all the right things and I was so very proud of him.  I was proud of me too!!  I only teared up a little!  I really thought I'd just ball my eyes out but I didn't.... YEA!  I was definitely ready for him to be out of the army but still it's an important chapter in our life that's closing and it too is bittersweet.

Then it was time to shed the uniform.  Lol  Really he was just getting ready to sit down and have a bite to eat but these photos really do kind of sum up the event, you know.  Retiring... moving on to our next chapter.

I won't lie and say that I loved the army life.  I didn't... but I did and do love my life.  I am relieved to have him move on from the army and deployments but... we are still near the army and his new job will still be working with the army and he'll still have lots of TDYs but the uniform is off and there are lots more choices now.  Less fear for me.  And a real sense of HOME.

Home it is where your heart is and we have found where ours is to reside.  We get to put down roots.  DD is beside herself that moves are not looming over us.  Don't get me wrong... we realize that we could still move some day but it will be our choice and right now, it's not in our plans.

As I posted on DH's facebook this morning... "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives!..."

It's been awhile...

Boy does time fly... So many times I've had so much to say but never got around to writing it up...  I'm still there...  Life has been so busy lately.

First we had dance recital early in May, then the next weekend was my son's high school graduation, then I had surgery and recovery...  5 weeks later we went on vacation.  It was wonderful and no, I did not want to come home!  Then about 2 weeks later I went with our Youth Choir on their Choir Tour to Dallas, TX and Mount Sequoyah, AK.  We had a great time.

Now, I'm home again, trying to get back into the swing of things.  I have a terrible backache right now, probably from sitting way too much during the travels but I'm trying to stretch and walk my way through it.

So, this weekend was Christmas in July on the Hallmark Channel and Sunday, I spent some time enjoying it.  As I was watching these movies though, I found myself wishing my life was different.  Kind of sad and weird I know but it's honest... So yesterday, I woke up and thought, if you wish your life was different, then DO something different!  So that's what I've been trying to do.  Do things differently.  Do things I love that for some reason, I haven't been doing.  So, today, I've been back to my green smoothies and menu planning a bit and yes, to more Hallmark movies, but I've been slowly tackling some 'hotspots' in the house too.  I used to follow FlyLady and I loved it but we moved and moved and moved again and well, I kind of lost it.  So, I'm slowly incorporating it back in my day in my own way.  I even walked on the treadmill for a bit this morning.  Yea me!

So, I'm working on my life.  I'm working on not just wasting it, on actually living it!  

Read this today and it is so very true.

"I can't change people's minds. Or their attitudes. Or their words when they are mean. And I often waste energy thinking about it. And wishing things were different.

As a good friend once said to me, 'Turn your ear away from them so you can hear those of us who love you.'"

 Great reminder. 

Green! It's my new favorite color!

So, I've been drinking my smoothies/juice drinks for about 4 days now and I have to tell you... I LOVE IT!  I even added in a little extra spinach this morning. 

As far as how I feel... Not noticing a huge change yet but I'm still eating some junk for my other meals so...  I really need to stop that!  But I have noticed a change...  I love my hair usually but lately (before the drinks) it's been a bit lifeless, or if it had it's curls it's been dry and just not looking itself... BUT  yesterday I noticed a difference!  It seems to have some extra body and life to it!  I didn't have to do much to it all (that's the way it used to be!) and it looks nice!  Not dry.  YAY!! 

I'm really enjoying the drinks and love that I'm getting some nutrition in a tasty way from REAL fruits and vegetables.  I think I'm getting close to the daily recommended amounts for a change!  My body may go into shock...  It's awesome!

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Okay, so I'm going to share a dirty little secret of mine but you have to promise not to tell anyone okay?  Promise?  Good.  Here it is.

I really HATE vegetables and most fruits.  There... now you know the ugly truth.  Explains a lot huh?  lol  Well, it is true.  I am getting better as I get older but not much... that is until today.

See, I haven't been sleeping much and this recovering has me down a lot and I've been watching way too much television... and in the wee hours of the night/morning our airwaves are filled with this little thing called infomercials...  I'm becoming addicted to them!  I find myself surfing the channels looking for them!

Anyway, I digress...  So the other night/morning I ran across one for this neat little gadget called The NutriBullet.   I researched it all night/morning.  It's a blender of sorts... better than a blender though.  You make smoothies/ juice drinks.  You use veggies and fruits.  Anyway, I was super skeptical.  SUPER!  They kept saying how good it was (sure...).  How can something so ... green ... be good?

But I kept reading.  There were lots of great reviews and testimonies.  People were feeling better, more energy, sleeping better (see above) and just a feeling of being healthy.  I want that!  So I couldn't stop thinking about it all morning yesterday. 

DH and I were out in the city doing some shopping and we just happened to go Bed Bath and Beyond and guess what we found there?  Yep!  The NutriBullet!  DH was wanting a new blender and so I started telling him about this and so... WE BOUGHT IT!

Last night I went to the store and got a few items for the smoothies (still thinking yuck) and got up this morning and wow! I actually really liked it!  It was green and that was a little hard to take but the taste was refreshing!  I'm sold!  I'm already thinking about having another one later.  lol

So here's what I did.  A handful of spinach, half a banana (hate them), half a green apple, a handful of green grapes, a tbs of salba and water to the max line.  That's it!  It really was refreshing and good.  Of course it wasn't the BEST thing I've had (I really like ice cream...) but it was probably the most nutritious breakfast I've ever had. lol  And I really did LIKE it!  I'll let you know how it goes.  :o)

Army Wife Network

This evening I am being interviewed as the resource of the week over at the Army Wife Network's Talk Radio Show about my book, "My Daddy Is In The Army."  The show starts at 8pm Eastern and my interview will be about an hour into the show.  I hope you all can tune in and listen!

Recovering

Earlier this week I had surgery.  Everything went fine and I am recovering well.  My family has been wonderful.  My parents were here for the first few days and that was wonderful.  I didn't have to worry about the kids or the house as they took care of everything.  DH has been great too.  Very attentive and helpful.  DD and DS have been super sweet checking on me all the time to see if I need anything or to just give me a hug.  My friends have been awesome too.  They have been providing dinners for us all week and they have been super yummy!

I've been just taking it easy, watching tv, playing on my kindle, walking around the house a bit and napping.  It's been nice.  I'm enjoying TVLAND.  I had forgotten how much I love shows like "Leave It To Bever" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show."  DD has been watching them with me and she is loving it too.  "The Andy Griffith Show" is on right now, so I better go for now.

Peace?

You know that inner dialogue? 
That conversation that goes on in your head? 
Yes, well, mine has been overwhelming lately.
(For like 10 years or more.)
I am one of those people that has to question everything. 
I have to analyze everything... to death! 
Is this.... ?
Did that happen because... ?
I am doing this for .... this .... or this....? 
Did they mean...? 
I too often look between the lines and sometimes there really aren't any lines!!! 
Sometimes there is no deeper meaning. 
Sometimes things really can be easy!

I also hold on to things.
Keep them in my back pocket to pull them out later when life is too easy so that I have something to worry over, to analyze, to over analyze, to fret over.

It has got to stop.  Let things go, quit worrying over EVERY LITTLE THING and just enjoy the ride. 

Sometimes, I really do know what I am doing.
Sometimes, I really do do things right.
Sometimes, things really are as innocent as they seem.

So self,
BE QUIET!
ENJOY the little things for what they are.
STOP reading between lines that are not there!
Just RELAX. 
Be CALM.
Be STILL.
BE AT PEACE.

Woke up to this one this morning

Gardening

So, I LOVE to garden.  In our last home we had a lovely little square foot garden and we canned tomatoes and sauce, strawberry jelly, okra, peppers and we froze even more!  I loved it.  Our garden last year didn't do too well so I've been looking at some new ideas.  I just found this food for wealth idea and have been thinking about it...You can find out more it here.  Let me know what you think!   Click Here!

Just gorgeous!

What beautiful weather we've had the last few days.  We've had a thunderstorm here and there but with absolutely perfect weather between!  I have really been enjoying sitting out on the patio and soaking up the vitamin D.  :o) 

This evening DD had to be on post for something and so I decided to go for a walk out there while I waited.  It was just gorgeous.  The breeze was just refreshing and everything was green and budding or blooming and beautiful. 

It's been a while since I've gone walking out there and I have to say that is the main thing I miss about living on post here, having such a beautiful place to walk right outside my front door.  Don't get me wrong, my neighborhood is lovely but Ft. Leavenworth was made for walking in beauty.

Really? My 'wildest dreams'?

Have you ever prayed the scriptures? I've often had specific scripture come to mind during different times in my life that kind of 'got me through'... that became a kind of mantra for me... but I never really thought of it as actually 'praying the scriptures,' and this phrase 'praying the scriptures' has come up a lot in some my readings lately.

Today, as I was working on some things.  A particular scripture kept coming to mind over and over again.  I even paraphrased it for DH at one point today.  I read it as the scripture in the daily devotion book I'm reading one day last week.  It is from Malachi 3:10,  from The Message, "Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams."

Isn't that awesome!  Wow, I think for the month of April that will be a prayer of mine.  Not necessarily for any specific blessings but for just an abundance of blessings whatever they may be! I think I'll write it up and put it in a few different places where I'll see and remember to pray it through out my day.

All I have to say today...

I read this today and thought it went so very well with my post from yesterday...

"Our purpose in getting free of clutter is to be freed to do what God is calling us to do. "

She's talking about clutter in our lives both our minds and our homes...

Kinda makes me go hmmm.....

Calling...

Ok, well, this blog post has been dancing around in my mind for a few weeks now.  Part of my problem with typing it up is... do I really want to share it?  There aren't a lot of readers out there but there are a few so, is it something I want to share?  Are the few readers out there going to roll their eyes at me?  Are they going to think I'm weird?  Another part of it is I'm not sure I have the words...  but... here it is....

Have you ever felt a calling a on your life?  I real calling, something so strong that you can physically feel it pulling you?  One that comes back over and over again?  Yes, well, that's me right now only...  I'm not really sure what exactly it is...  Is that how it's supposed to work?  God calls you only to leave you hanging wondering what it is you are supposed to do?  It's really not how I envisioned it. 

I really thought it would be much more specific.  You know?  A little more guidance, a little more direction, a little more in my face... THIS IS IT... billboard kind of thing.  I'm kind of waiting on that...  as I need help figuring it all out! 

I've been talking with the Big Guy about it (my friend says I've been a little bossy about it) and well, I've been asking, ok kind of telling Him, that I need it RIGHT IN MY FACE.  I need it from some one real not just the voice in my head...  so here I sit, waiting...  Thinking, maybe I'm not quite ready yet.  Maybe He's still working on me preparing me for this 'job', this calling he has planned for me and I'm just being impatient... Maybe....  that's part of it too... patience....

I don't know, but it's there, that tugging, that feeling of purpose, that feeling that I NEED to be doing something, that He's calling me.... and I'm just waiting for direction, for the guidance, for the WHAT!  (as in what is it I'm supposed to be doing) Waiting...

Shutting down...

Do you ever do that?  Do you ever find yourself just shutting down?  I do.  I found myself doing it just yesterday.  I started out ok but sometime during my day, I found myself holing up in my room and just wanting to ... we'll say rest or maybe hide is the better word.

I still functioned.  I still cooked dinner and ate with the kids but I just couldn't get back to my bedroom fast enough.  I think I've felt it coming on for a couple of days, though I'm not sure i recognized it as such until it actually happened... Actually, it wasn't until I read DH's facebook post. He was 'checking-in' to where he was and said, "Hanging."  My reaction to it was, "Hmm, you are 'hanging' and I'm shutting down."  It wasn't until that moment that I realized it.  It kind of surprised me really.  It just sneaked up on me. 

I'll do better today.  I'll feel better.  I'll work on it.  I will reboot.

Accountability

Lately, that's what it has been about... accountability.  So our church is doing a study that has daily readings.  I always set out to read studies like this every day but usually I'll fall behind a few days and before I know it, I've quit all together!  So this time, on the day before our first reading, I set up an accountability group and a few people from my church joined it.  I was hoping for everyone to post when they read it for accountability and a few have here and there but it has really worked for me!  I have not missed a day yet of reading because I started this group and feel it really does hold me accountable and I'm so glad.  I'm enjoying this time every day.

Recently, DH (the wonderful man he is) bought me a Kindle Fire and I have become a huge a fan.  I have signed up for a few alerts to free books and yesterday there was a great find!   It's No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths for Women by Rachel Olsen.

It's free on Kindle and Nook this week only.  So, I decided to use this study when we finish the one from church in about 2 weeks.  I am very excited about it. So much so that I just started another group for this one on Facebook where I can hold myself accountable again.  So, if any of you would like to join me here is the link to the group on Facebook.  I'd love to have you join me!  If not, I'll just hold myself accountable. :o)

Here's what amazon says about this book:

It's No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know

Are you ready to trade your everyday issues and emotional hang-ups for a life of greater intimacy and fulfillment in Christ? Then it's time to discover some God-sized secrets to living the Christian life. Rachel Olsen's writing is lighthearted and fun but she packs a true spiritual punch.  She's serious about helping you: 

* Handle petty conflicts and criticism with grace
* Overcome the competitive urges that keep you striving
* Grow spiritually despite life's setbacks
* Relax unrealistic expectations in favor of emotional stability

* Uncover a surprising means to worshiping God amidst your busy schedule
* Discover how to make what you give away ultimately return to you
* Find adventure as you yield wholeheartedly to God

Explore twelve principals straight from scripture with Rachel, and then delve into the Bible yourself with end-of-chapter studies. Grab your coffee cup and a copy of It's No Secret and come discover twelve secrets the world doesn't know that every woman should.

I'm ready!  Are you?

So much to say...

I haven't posted much lately because, well, this is going to sound weird but... it's because I have just so much to say!  I'll think of something I want to blog about when I'm not able and then when I am I have something new I want to say!  The topics will be so different and there is so much to say that I can't put them in one post and instead of writing two... I just haven't written any.

I need to start just writing them and saving them as a draft and then when I don't have anything to say, I can publish them!

I just have so much running around in this crazy head of mine...  Sometimes, I just wish I knew how to turn off my brain and just sit in peace... I'm working on it.

Not alone.

I have found a new...blog/website/organization that I love.  It's for the military wife.  It's called Her War, Her Voice and it is wonderful.  I've been reading through a lot of the posts and it is helping me to realize that I'm not alone, that I'm not so different.  If you are military wife struggling.  Go visit this site.  It's just for you.

My day...

My day is turning into one of those "refresh" days...  At least I got my workout in this morning!  lol

** If you aren't sure I mean by a "refresh" day.  Check out this post.