Sunday, January 08, 2006


More bad news from Iraq. A helicopter crash... small arms fire... more IEDs... Around 30 military deaths in the last 8 days. So sad. I feel like a little bit of me dies every time I hear of another death or read another name. My heart breaks for each and every family. I've been feeling the sadness start to overwhelm me lately. Honestly, I've not been watching the news much since DH left because I just can't bear it.

Last time he was gone, I couldn't stop watching it. I kept it on 24/7. Really, I kept the TV on in the bedroom while I slept, if I slept. I was so sick the whole time. DH asked me not to do this this time. And... I've tried. I listen to the quick news on the radio in the mornings and then I get news alerts in my e-mail and read the headlines and blogs here and there. I try sometimes to get news from DH but he usually just tells me not to worry.

This war is taking it's toll. I pray so hard for peace. I cry ... and I get angry ... and then I pray some more. I know that there is some good happening there but I just hate to see so many deaths, both military and civilian deaths. Both ours and theirs. It's all so sad. I feel like there is a light that is slowly dimming and dying. I don't know if the light is in me or just out there somewhere in the universe but with every death the light seems to dim.

I know, I need to focus on other things... on the good that is happening somewhere but I'm finding it harder and harder...

Sorry... it's just been a sad few .... days (?) for me. I'm going to look for the light in the darkness and I know I'll find some. I have already since I first started thinking of this post early this morning, and I'll come back and share but for now... pray for our troops and their families... pray for our enemies... pray for the leaders in our world... pray for peace.


  1. well this is hard, and every day i go up and down. sometimes i am having a really good day and i think that everything will be ok, other times i can barely wake up. behind any bravado i show for myself, or those around me, i really wonder in the privacy of my thoughts, how i will make it through another 6 months of life in iraq.

    my friend has this on his wall, and i try to recite it to make it through, whether it's an hour, or a day. contentment is hard to reach, sometimes it feels impossible, and sometimes i make it there.

    for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I do not refer to this through fear of privation, for I have learned, whatever be my outward experiences, to be content
    phil 4:11

  2. Keep going to verse 13...

    "I can do all things in him who strengthens me."

    I tell myself this a lot but maybe I need to say it just a little bit more.

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  4. You too! Thanks for checking on me. You are so awesome and have got to be one of the best friends ever! Thanks for caring.