Okay, I'll warn you now. This is not one of my more uplifting posts.
I was thinking this morning that I need to go get the makings for my Christmas dinner. I was kind of thinking about the meal and thought to myself, "Maybe we just won't do Christmas dinner this year." This completely shocked me! I couldn't believe it but what shocked me more was when I actually said to the kids, "Hey, how about if we don't do Christmas Dinner this year and we just eat a regular meal after church?" DS was like, "Sure, whatever" in a very disbelieving tone. DD said, "Nah, I like Christmas dinner. You're just joking right?" I said, "Of course I am, silly! We have to have Christmas dinner."
Okay, here's the sad part! I don't think I was joking! I was serious! At that moment I realized I wouldn't mind skipping Christmas all together this year!
Now that is total craziness! I love Christmas! It's my favorite time of the year! I love the cooking, the shopping, the carols, the movies, the cards, the decorations... but not so much this year. I realized this morning that DS had to force me to put the tree. I would have kept putting it off! DD had to force me to do my holiday candy making and baking! This is so not me.... yes, I stopped everything right then and took a St. John's Wort. (That's a mood enhancer for those that don't know.)
Now, don't get me wrong... my kids will have a wonderful Christmas this year. I'm just surprised at myself. Part of the dinner thing is that my exercising is going well and I am starting to see a difference and don't want to blow it with one meal, one day but that's just a teeny tiny bit of it. I think I'm just missing DH.
Funny thing is, he's not even all that into the whole Christmas thing. I have to force him to get into it every year!
I really shouldn't be complaining. There are lots of families who will never have another Christmas with their loved ones. I'm really very lucky! But that just makes me even more sad. Oh well. These are just thoughts that I'm sending out into cyberspace. They say writing it down can help so here it is...
Now I'm off to homeschool...